旧模板

Today there is a growing awareness that mental well-being needs to be given as much attention as physical health. In the contemporary world where change is constant and knowledge is ever-expanding, mental well-being has become increasingly important. It can lay the foundation for a secure future.Reasons and concrete evidence to support my view point are as follows.
    First and foremost, there is no doubt that mental well-being does contribute to innovation. Based on a most recent survey, it is revealed that a majority of successful businessmen have admitted that they prefer finding a mental doctor every year. What's more it is obvious that keeping a mental well-being is the vital key of facing troubles. The more optimistic we are, the more productivity we improve. Last but not least, no one can deny that mental well-being can also affect physical health. Where there is physical health, there is mental health.
     From what has been mentioned above, we can come to the conclusion that mental health plays an crucial role in our lives. If we spare no efforts to develop mental well-being, the future of our lives will be both promising and rosy.

改后：

Nowadays, cultivating independent learning ability is becoming increasingly crucial for personal development. In an era characterized by rapid technological advancements, the ability to learn independently has become increasingly important. It can lay the foundation for a secure future.Reasons and concrete evidence to support my view point are as follows.

First and foremost, there is no doubt that independent learning does empowers individuals to adapt to new situations, acquire new skills, and stay relevant in a constantly evolving job market. Based on a most recent survey, it’s revealed that a majority of successful elites have admitted that they prefer embracing a growth mindset to better prepare themselves for business.

What's more, a personal experience that highlights the significance of independent learning occurred during my childhood. Faced with a challenging mathematics course, I took the initiative to seek out additional resources and do a large number of exercises beyond the classroom curriculum. This active approach not only improved my understanding but also instilled in me a sense of confidence and self-reliance. It taught me that while teachers and textbooks provide guidance, the ultimate responsibility for learning lies with the individual.

Last but not least, no one can deny that Failure to cultivate independent learning can impede lifelong learning which essential in today's rapidly evolving world.

From what has been mentioned above, we can come to the conclusion that independent learning is an indispensable skill in today's world. If we spare no efforts to foster self-discipline and actively seek knowledge, the future of our lives will be both promising and rosy.

新模板

开头

In an era where change is constant, the importance of XXX cannot be overstated..

It can lay the foundation for a secure future.

Reasons and concrete evidence to support my viewpoint are as follows.

主体段

First and foremost, there is no doubt that XXX.

A recent survey reveals that a majority of successful professionals have admitted that they prefer doing sth to better prepare themselves for business.

What's more, a personal experience that highlights the significance of XXX occurred during my childhood. (a personal experience comes to mind: l once struggled to ）

Faced with a challenge, I took the initiative to do sth.

This active approach instilled in me a sense of confidence and self-reliance.

It taught me that .

Last but not least, no one can deny that Failure to cultivate XXX can impede lifelong learning which is essential in today's rapidly evolving world.

结尾

To sum up, it's XXX that plays a pivotal role  in the fabric of our daily existence. 

If we spare no effort to foster XXX, the future of our lives will be both promising and hopeful.